What’s Normal – Married Sex….

There’s an article going around that’s creating a lot of buzz about married sex. This 30-something man that has been with his wife for over a decade documented all his sexual encounters, both with himself and with his wife, that went to completion in the past year, 2013. I was so intrigued with this article because very rarely do I find sex talked about in this demographic. The 30-something in a long term relationship with children still has sex? Taboo! I don’t necessarily want to call his experience normal, because what is normal? However it was a really fun read for my husband and I to look at as sort of a baseline. It got us talking about how we compare and if we cared about the differences. For example, in the article the man claims to have averaged approximately two blow jobs a month. I joked with my husband that I’m behind and should pick up the pace for the year. He brought up a good point, it wasn’t that I don’t give him blow jobs, he just prefers to finish elsewhere. So what may start as a blow job, for him, generally leads to some kind of penetrative sex. And his point was that it was just a personal preference of where he would like to finish. So I guess this leaves Naive Nancy wondering, if we use this article as a baseline, where do you come in at?

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13 thoughts on “What’s Normal – Married Sex….

  1. I completely agree about the blow jobs. We use them as foreplay, leading to finishing elsewhere. The numbers sounded pretty accurate in the article though. We seems to go through spurts though – sex every day for a month, then we take a week off. I wish people talked more about married sex in your thirties. It definitely seems like a taboo subject in sex writing. Great blogging so far!

    • We thought the numbers overall were pretty accurate too. It’s actually amusing to hear someone else say that because my friends IRL have little to no sex lives. It’s part of the reason I started blogging. I found I had nowhere to turn to have a frank discussion on active sex lives in your 30s. Everything is geared towards single and/or 20-somethings. Apparently your 30s are for procreational sex and nothing else.

  2. Suzanne says:

    Interesting article. I am one of the married in her 30’s with little to no sex drive. Looking for ways to increase pleasure. Interesting to see what “average” is. Now we need to see the female version of this study.

  3. Annie says:

    Interesting. I’m not quite 30 but with two kids myself and a work-from-home job my drive is rarely active. I like to stay up late while my husband goes to bed early in order to get up early for work, so our schedules aren’t in sync. That probably plays a part. I know if it were up to him he’d probably be up for every night. Of course, when we were trying to conceive #2 by the end I think he may have been getting sick of DTD. Or maybe just me telling him that tonight was the night, we have to have DTD tonight to get pregnant.
    And as for BJ’s? No. Gross. I can’t do it. Every year for his birthday I try but I just can’t it grosses me out so much.

  4. Mimi says:

    I’m a married in her 30’s also, and though I do have a sex drive, most of the time it is eclipsed by overwhelming tiredness. I told my husband once we should schedule sex, just so I knew I wouldn’t be exhausted, but he laughed at me and thought that was ridiculous. I did agree with the article about Sunday’s though. That is the one time we get together, usually while the kids are taking a nap, or watching a movie in the other room.

      • Suzanne says:

        I only do bj’s as fore play. Only to completion once in my whole life. Sometimes I’m too uptight to receive but my husband is willing to give.

      • Can I ask why only once to completion? Did it take too long? Did you not like the taste? And too uptight to receive oral…..my un-expert opinion here says that he needs to get you out of your head. Sounds like you think too much during sex.

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