You know how according to Cosmo, or Elle, or some other “prestigious” women’s magazine, we should be having these mind-blowing orgasms. And if we’re not having them, then there’s something wrong with us and they’d like to help us have them in 5 easy steps! Yeah. I know we’re thinking the same thing. What is a mind-blowing orgasm? Do you have to have only mind-blowing orgasms? There was an article written recently discussing 8 more realistic types of female orgasms. While I laughed my way through half of it, it was also startlingly true. I’d like to enter my own realistic orgasms for consideration….
1. The I just need an orgasm, orgasm: Very similar to the article’s “let’s get this over with orgasm,” with one major difference, it’s not about cumming to get on to something else, it’s only about cumming and cumming quickly. My husband knows that I sometimes just need an orgasm a night. It’s like a minimum service level for me or something. 🙂 So in our enlightened communication phase, he’ll sometimes ask me, do you need sex, or will just an orgasm do?
2. The warm-up orgasm: For those of us lucky enough to orgasm multiple times during a sex session, sometimes we’re so turned on, we need a warm-up orgasm just to take the edge off. These orgasms are generally from manual stimulation (aka fingering) or from oral sex.
3. The, as my husband calls it, bathing his balls orgasm: Yup, I’m squirter. And usually when my husband hits on or around my g-spot I’m known to just gush! These orgasms are intense and humorous all at the same time. Humorous because I just laugh about that much liquid cumming/coming, pardon the pun, out of me. Seriously, if you can’t laugh while having sex sometimes, you’re with the wrong person.
4. The screaming orgasm: For me this is the general mode. I don’t know if it’s more an indication of quality of the orgasm as it is the quality of my vocal chords. I’m just loud when I’m having sex. Fact of life.
UPDATED FOR READER ADDITIONS…..
Lovely reader Darla has submitted the following addition
5. The paralyzer orgasm: The orgasm that is so groundbreaking, earth-shattering, life-affirming, (add your own superlative) that you literally can’t move afterwards. No honey, you go on ahead, I’ll be with you later.
So between the article and my personal observations, what do you think? Are these more realistic representation of female orgasms? Any you would like to add to the list?