I’m Pierced!

Sometimes I struggle with how I want my “voice” to sound in my blog. For the most part I conceptualize and only reveal personal tidbits to further an idea. So I apologize in advance, if the following post is too personal for some, but ultimately this is my outlet. This is where I’m learning and am able to express the things that I can’t in real life.

No I’m not going through some kind of third-life crisis. It’s more like I’m comfortable enough in my body and identity to know what I want and not let anything stop me anymore.

exactly!

exactly!

 

Exactly one week ago I got my nipples pierced! Yes, at 31 years old. Yes post two children. I’ve been contemplating it for a while. The husband and I have talked about it. I love the look, but have always been more concerned about what society would think. I know I shouldn’t be, but I have been. I’m a suburban stay at home mom. This isn’t the rebellious act of a teenager or even 20-something. This was the well thought out act of a mature adult and I couldn’t be happier with it.

aren't they cute?

aren’t they cute?

 

No those aren’t mine! I’m not quite that comfortable with everyone.

I have my ears pierced and my belly button pierced (yes it’s still there even after two pregnancies), so this wasn’t my first piercing, but clearly the most intimate.

It’s kind of funny, but I got my first tattoo a year ago and I’ve never felt a desire to show it off to people. But pierce my nipples, and I’m dying to show everyone! I can’t explain it.

Of course the husband is thrilled with them. We’ll be more excited when I’m healed and we can play with them. I’ll definitely keep you all posted and let you know how it enhances our sexual play time.

 

Are all moms fuddy-duddies?

Seriously, what the fuck (pardon my language but I’m irritated) is up with mothers. Most of what I see hit print about mothers can be summed up from this recent article (I had to update the link, the original article has since been removed). This has been passed around from mom to mom, “amen-ed” more times than I can count, and overall viewed as gospel to my demographic.

You’re looking at a lot of the reason why I started a blog. I get that this is satire. But at the same time, how far from the truth is it? I’m sick of people putting this out as representative of mothers.

Can you not be a mother AND be sexy? Are you not allowed to be a mother AND physically fit?

I don’t look like a Victoria’s Secret model, however, I have kept myself in great condition and love to put myself in these bathing suits. Do I wear one of these on a playdate to the pool with kids? No, of course not (unless it’s under a cover-up). But when I can sit at the pool by myself, absolutely. There’s no reason why we can’t be proud of the bodies we have, the hard work we’ve put into them, and want to show them off.

I don’t starve myself, but I also don’t eat a whole sleeve of cookies and wonder why I can’t wear one of these swimsuits. I’ve always lived under the belief that taking care of yourself is the best example you can give to your kids. When mom is happy, everyone is happy. And part of keeping/making yourself happy is to take care of yourself physically.

Is this why most written word of women/mothers in their 30s is that we are asexual creatures? Because we have devalued ourselves as a society so much that we are only capable of being the mom in yoga pants struggling to keep up every day? Does frumpy have to be the primary descriptive word for us?

Seriously, who doesn’t want an orgasm?

There was an article written recently discussing how men and women enjoy the sex act but don’t need to orgasm to feel fulfilled. The husband and I are a house divided on this issue. My viewpoint – who doesn’t want an orgasm? His, he enjoys giving them to me, but doesn’t have to have one.

I think there are several things at play with his answer, so let me explain. My husband hasn’t figured out the magic elusive multiple orgasm for the man. So he likes to delay orgasm for quite a while because when he’s done, he’s done. I argue that this means he still wants an orgasm, just doesn’t want one too early.

My husband is also one of those men who get off, on me getting off. Get me? (really cheesy, couldn’t help it) But to me that still implies that he would like to orgasm, just eventually.

As a woman, for the most part, we’re taught that if we’re not coming during a sexual act, then there’s something wrong with us, or the acumen of the person we’re with. So maybe it’s hard-wired into me, but for me, sex without an orgasm is like a competition without a winner.

That’s not to say that I can’t think of a few occasions where that varies. For example, my partner wants sex in the mornings. While I can be ready to go at a moment’s notice, there’s something about the mornings that makes it difficult for me to cum. Doesn’t mean that I don’t want to indulge in some morning nookie, it just means I won’t be getting off from it.

So while I can think of an example or two of when I don’t mind the sexual act without an orgasm, in general? That just seems against nature.

 

 

How to Spice Things Up – Erotic Media

Notice how I didn’t use the word porn? I did that on purpose. Erotic media can include porn, but is not limited to it. Erotic media defined can be written word, images, and video.

So now that I’ve defined various types of erotic media, you’re wondering how it can be used to spice things up in your sex life. Well, I have a few ideas on that topic.

Reviewing erotic material on your own can be foreplay. It can really “rev” you up and get you ready for the main act with your partner. If you’re someone that needs an extra push to get excited, consider this your help. Find out which of these mediums appeals to you most.

Women typically relate best to the written erotica, so try reading some erotic novels/short stories. Get your creative juices flowing. Feeling really adventurous, try reading some of your favorite passages aloud to your partner. Check out the Kindle store for material.

Another outlet to spicing things up, explore erotic images with your partner. If you’re a little squeamish in regards to porn, start with pictures. As shown with my favorite tumblr account, liberator.tumblr.com, a lot of erotic images can be quite tasteful and artistic. Not only do you get your juices flowing, viewing these images together, but it’s a great opportunity to talk about what turns you on about various images. What a great way to find out something new about your partner and their desires. Maybe it reminds you of something you two do together that you really like, share that as well. Anything that promotes communication between you and your partner is a good thing.

thong

tumblr.liberator22

tumblr.liberator21

hand holding

grainy from behind

Tell me that none of those turned you on?!

And finally, there’s porn. If you’re new to the porn arena, start with The Big List of Porn. It provides you with a huge list of porn sites. Anything and everything you can think of. I would recommend trying it by yourself first just to find what you like. Then when you watch with your partner, you can show them what appeals to you. The husband and I will take turns when we do this. We’ll watch something I like, and then switch and watch something he likes. Watching porn together can be a very sexy experience. You’re both aroused and take it out on each other. There’s just no substitute to watching sex.

Which erotic media do you prefer? And do you share it with your partner?