Anal sex. It’s such a polarizing topic. You either love it or hate it. I’ve rarely ran across a woman who was just meh about it. I love how this article compares it to cilantro. Cracks me up. But it’s essentially saying the same thing, how polarizing it is.
Why don’t we talk about anal play, versus anal sex. I think if we were to broaden the subject to play, instead of just penile penetration, it might make some less wary of the topic, and maybe we can add more gray area to an otherwise black and white subject.
So you, or your partner, has entertained the idea of anal play. Where to start. I would recommend starting with you fingers, just touching the area. There are so many nerve endings around the anus that just brushing across it can be wildly stimulating. And to someone that is new to anal play, this can be enough excitement to start with. I remember when my husband and I first started with anal play, I had to get over the urge to giggle and flinch any time he would attempt to touch me there. I had been pre-programmed with the idea that it was an exit only area, so even the smallest brushes against it felt so taboo!
Grab some lube, because the next step in anal play is penetration with fingers. After you have gotten used to being touched on your puckered hole, maybe you’re ready to up the ante a bit. The anus is different than your vagina in that it takes a lot more conscious relaxation on your part to allow your muscles to let something penetrate you there. It will take practice releasing the tension in your anus to allow something in, even something as small as a single finger of your partner’s. Initial penetration by digits isn’t about depth, but just getting your body used to accepting something there. If your partner is a man, and is adventurous, try adding this trick to a blowjob.
Next, let’s say you really like digital manipulation in your ass and you’re ready for something more. Time for some toys. Find a beginner butt plug and add that in to your anal play. It can be used alone to get your ass used to something larger than a finger, or it can be used with vaginal intercourse as a pseudo double penetration beginner step.
How about trying a rim job? Some people love the feeling of a tongue around the ass. It’s all about you and your partner’s comfort levels. If you have a partner that loves to give oral, I would definitely recommend giving this a try as well.
And finally, if you’ve tried all the above and you want more. Then you can move on to penile penetration of the anus. What most people associate as being true anal sex.
See how many steps there was before you ever got to this point? I believe most people just jump to the final step, without working up to it and they miss all the fun to be had in between. So when asked about anal sex, they do feel strongly. It’s become an all or nothing topic for them.
I strongly recommend anal play as a way to increase intimacy with your partner. It takes a lot of communication and vulnerability to try something new like this. And regardless of which partner is taking the penetration, that involves trust.
Let’s change the way people think of anal sex. Why don’t we start talking about anal play instead.
What are your thoughts on anal play?