There was an article written recently discussing how men and women enjoy the sex act but don’t need to orgasm to feel fulfilled. The husband and I are a house divided on this issue. My viewpoint – who doesn’t want an orgasm? His, he enjoys giving them to me, but doesn’t have to have one.
I think there are several things at play with his answer, so let me explain. My husband hasn’t figured out the magic elusive multiple orgasm for the man. So he likes to delay orgasm for quite a while because when he’s done, he’s done. I argue that this means he still wants an orgasm, just doesn’t want one too early.
My husband is also one of those men who get off, on me getting off. Get me? (really cheesy, couldn’t help it) But to me that still implies that he would like to orgasm, just eventually.
As a woman, for the most part, we’re taught that if we’re not coming during a sexual act, then there’s something wrong with us, or the acumen of the person we’re with. So maybe it’s hard-wired into me, but for me, sex without an orgasm is like a competition without a winner.
That’s not to say that I can’t think of a few occasions where that varies. For example, my partner wants sex in the mornings. While I can be ready to go at a moment’s notice, there’s something about the mornings that makes it difficult for me to cum. Doesn’t mean that I don’t want to indulge in some morning nookie, it just means I won’t be getting off from it.
So while I can think of an example or two of when I don’t mind the sexual act without an orgasm, in general? That just seems against nature.