Now that you’ve had a chance to review all those animated sexual positions and pick your favorites, I’d like to review the sexual positions, from Sex Info 101’s animated sex guide, that win the award for most anatomically impossible.
1) The Headrush – First of all, how many of you men are strong enough to hold your women in this fashion. I’m not downplaying your masculinity, but even if you could hold her in this position, could you do it long enough to make her cum? And really, how long until she passes out? Is this a kama sutra version of autoerotic asphyxiation? How long ’til her legs cut off your air supply. Can you cum first? Where is this in the list of sexy games to play? In the words of Mortal Kombat – “Finish Him”
2) The Brute – Watch your bean intake at dinner because you’ve got guns cocked and loaded, pointed right at your face. The husband and I actually had a disagreement regarding the feasibility of this position. I paused the writing of this one just to have him mock up this position with me. Needless to say, hilarity ensued. One question, how’s your health insurance? We’re convinced the man would be at risk of snapping his dick off just to achieve penetration in this position. If you can get this to work successfully, you have to let me know! And pictures or it didn’t happen. 🙂
3) The Golden Gate – Holy Shit! That’s what I have to say about that. It hurts to watch. And how come her boobs never seem to flop toward her face. If she’s upside down like that, it seems to be the only detail they’re missing.
4) The Superwoman – my husband actually titled this, The Wishbone. We’re afraid that poor woman is going to get her legs snapped off. And if she doesn’t, I hope she has a lot of upper body strength to keep herself off that sofa, otherwise she’s going to have rug burns on her boobs. But you know, if you’re into marks, you can add those to the bruises you’d have from his fingers digging into your hips.
6) The Twisted Doggy – You’d have to be seriously twisted to get yourself into this position for penetration. Similar to #2 in that I think you’d have to bend your dick in an unnatural position in order to gain entry.
And that completes my review of the most anatomically impossible positions. Hope you enjoyed.