Couples Dating: Progress Report

So, as previously discussed Romeo and I have dipped our toes into the intimidating waters of couples dating. I know you’re just dying to find out what it’s like, right?

Well, in the past couple weeks Romeo and I have put ourselves out on two different dating sites specifically relating to this alternative lifestyle. We didn’t want all our eggs in one basket.

As we created our profiles, we realized that we needed to catch up on the lingo. There are many acronyms thrown around that look like a bad personals ad. “MFC seeks Cpl for soft swap, full swap, or just same room fun.” Let me translate, male/female couple seeks another couple to swap partners for petting, oral, or intercourse. Everything to occur in the same room. Meaning the couples don’t swap, separate and head to different rooms.

Are you still with me? 🙂

It’s not that I went into this blindly, I’ve read some books, blogs, done some research, but it was still “funny” to see some of these things in writing. To actually consider these things thoughtfully as if we might actually act on it. Oh wait, that’s right, that’s why we were doing this to begin with.

Talking about these things hypothetically and acting upon them are two completely different animals. We’ve stumbled a bit as we’ve gone down the rabbit hole because there were issues that arose that we hadn’t planned for. We thought we were smart, thought of our limits, what we were okay doing, in what way, with what people. And it’s really the minor details that seem to be currently tripping us up. Like communication. “Theoretically,” I say that and put it in quotes because until we’ve actually acted upon this everything is still theoretical, you’d think that the physical aspect of this venture would be the most daunting. Well, it isn’t. At least not yet. We hit a stumbling block when we realized we’d have to do a bit of flirty bantering.

In most relationships this is considered a no-go. You don’t flirt with anyone else, written, spoken, or otherwise, that is not your partner. It’s considered cheating. So even though we were logically prepared to share our bodies, we hadn’t thought through the other implications. That it would mean flirting, a foreplay of sorts, leading up to an actual meeting. You’re talking about changing a pre-wired notion in your brain. That’s harder to bypass than you can imagine.

For whatever reason, verbal flirting, getting to know each other, seems more intimate than any physical act. And yet, it was supposedly what Romeo and I wanted. Not just some sex act with other people that we didn’t know or like anything else about. We’re still working on this.

I know that I personally also have a hang-up where the term “swinging,” is involved. Trust me, I realize for the most part couples dating and swinging are the same thing. But for whatever reason, swinging sounds dirty to me. It has a different connotation than couples dating. Maybe Naive Nancy is letting her naivete show through with this one. Can’t be helped, it’s the way I feel. Probably another pre-wired notion I’m going to have a hard time getting around.

So to get down to it, of the two sites, one seems more promising. One site seems to be hung up on one-liners. Not witty banter, but rather cheesy and vapid lines that evoke no real feeling other than an NSA encounter. And in this case NSA means no strings attached. 🙂 The other site seems to be where more people are seeking real connections. Are having real conversations. So our current status is talking to a few interesting prospects. One couple seems to be at the forefront, and a date seems imminent. I’ll keep you posted.

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2 thoughts on “Couples Dating: Progress Report

  1. Elle says:

    We have talked about doing something very similar. I’m curious to know how it goes. We are still in the getting ourselves straight and setting clear expectations and limits phase.

    We are taking it slow since this isn’t something you can call oops and take back once it’s done.

    I’m glad to know we aren’t the only ones though.

    • I like hearing we’re not the only ones either. And even though we’re talking, until something happens, we’re not beyond the point of no return. But it is good to be sure. Which is why we’re taking it slow and working through the “speed bumps” as they come up.

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