Holy Shit, Is this 1950?!

I just read this article, yes I read it start to finish even though I almost choked while doing so. Now before you go all crazy on me, keep reading. Seriously, read the whole thing. I know you’re starting to wonder how I get myself into these situations. Why even read the article you’re saying? I read it because on the surface I don’t disagree with the idea that you should have sex with your husband whenever he wants it.

Again, bear with me. Whenever he wants it should be an agreed upon thing amongst the two of you. We’ll come back to that.  

Can you be “coerced” into having sex when you don’t want it? Sure you can. I’m sure everyone has not been in the mood at some time or another, yes even Naive Nancy on the rare occasion. And if it’s for a generally “superficial” reason (i.e. not medical/mental health related), it can be allowed for the spouse to attempt to get you in the mood. Admit it, you’ve started having sex with your partner at one time or another and you didn’t really get into it until halfway in. I would call that “coerced” or less forcefully, “convinced.” Neither of those things are bad per se. The ability of your partner to “coerce” or “convince” you when you’re not in the mood would actually be quite a talent and would probably end in satisfaction for both parties. No lingering hard feelings.

What I have a problem with is the idea that you just give sex to your partner at any time it’s requested because the “he” in the relationship has a biological need that the “she” doesn’t have. Did you happen to notice all the relevant evidence that was provided in the article? Yeah, unfounded opinions are my favorite too.

If you’re a Naive Nancy regular, you know that I would now argue that I personally have as much a biological need as the “he” that is referenced in the article. Hard to convince me and the Mister (he really doesn’t like to be called Romeo, we’ll address that at another time), that my need isn’t a need. Or for that matter is more or less relevant than his. I’ve described how without an orgasm (I said orgasm, not sex, meaning that I can give it to myself if it becomes a hardship on my partner) I’m restless, I can’t sleep, I literally become so wet that I go through several pairs of underpants (if I’m wearing them), etc. But also as I’ve previously discussed, the Mister and I have come to an understanding about my need, and how he can contribute or not as he feels comfortable. This is never about him strictly accommodating my need. This is about our negotiating, our communicating, our relationship. Can I say OUR a few more times for you to understand that these are all joint things, never one sided, even if the issue feels that way initially?

And if the article wasn’t heinous enough to suggest that you should just give in whenever “he” wants it because “he” has to have it, the writer actually compared “his need” to a woman’s need to empty her breasts when she’s breastfeeding!!!!!! Seriously?! How is your need to cum compare to a woman’s need to empty her breasts. Holy shit this is where the writer really lost me. I’m not going to go on a pro vs con about breastfeeding. That’s not who I am. I have breastfed one child and not the other, so I have seen both sides of that fence. But what I will say is that until a man has breastfed, there can never be a comparison between emptying your breasts and emptying your balls. I won’t pretend to understand a man’s need to empty his balls, I don’t have them. Same should go the other way around. Two completely different biological things/needs.

Okay, I ranted a bit, so I feel a summary is in order. Naive Nancy is still pro-sex. Naive Nancy is still against anyone that is being forced into sex. And Naive Nancy is really against articles written that cite biological/scientific fact that do not provide links or the actual data referenced. Basic writing principles here! Fuck! (pardon my language, said for emphasis) Now back to your regularly scheduled program. 🙂

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2 thoughts on “Holy Shit, Is this 1950?!

  1. Elle says:

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen an article where men with low sex drives were told to just “have oral or penetrative sex whenever their wife wants it even if they don’t want to for the good of the marriage”. Yet women everywhere get told to do just that.

    Sigh. I’ll stop before the ranting begins.

  2. right? i could have gone on and on and on. it was almost too easy. and this wasn’t some one-off website, this website is fairly established. i was downright appalled at what i read.

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