New Year New View

Never mind new year new you, how about new year new view. I know you’ve been wildly curious about our foray into the lifestyle and I’m constantly being requested to share more details. So for the new year, let me relate some of the common traits I’ve come to notice that as swingers, we all share.

Provocative Clothing – That doesn’t sound that abnormal right? What you’re missing is the fact that you’ll find swingers headed to a lifestyle party on a Sunday afternoon dressed like this…

no that's not a hooker, she's just headed to a party

no that’s not a hooker, she’s just headed to a party

Except that I’m so not kidding right now. One of the Mister and my’s favorite activities is to get to a party slightly early, and then just sit at a nice vantage point and see if we can guess which of the people walking by the venue are headed to our event, or just out for a stroll in the neighborhood. Would this woman typically be wearing a sweater over her pasties just to get to the club, probably so, but you are still seeing people (generally women) looking like prostitutes running around on a Sunday afternoon. Who else is wearing an animal print skin tight dress and 4″+ heels Sunday at 3:00 pm. Naive Nancy is so guilty of this. Minus the animal print, the Mister just doesn’t care for it. 😉

Ritual Grooming – As a mom of two young kids, I so oftentimes run across other fellow moms speaking of how long it’s been since they’ve shaved, or had their hair colored. Any number of general personal grooming habits that have gone astray. As a swinger you never know whom you’re going to run into. What opportunities to get naked there may be, so you have to be completely prepared 24/7, to be naked at the drop of a hat. That means we’re always the ones keeping our waxing appointments. Our highlights are fresh, no split ends here, and regular mani/pedis are a must. Not to mention our diet and exercise concerns. There is no such thing as preparing for bikini season, because to us, every day is bikini season. I’m not saying we’re all 5’9″ and 100 lbs. But I am saying that in general you will always get a swingers personal best. We’re always putting our best face forward, that’s not just saved for special occasions.

Juvenile Idiosyncrasies. This particular quirk isn’t an idiosyncrasy if you’re still in Junior High School,

if you were once a teenage girl, you recognize these

if you were once a teenage girl, you recognize these

but if you’re an adult, it might be a bit odd to be as fond of chapstick and gum as those in the lifestyle are. No really, the first date that the mister and I went on, the couple both pulled out chapstick, and then shared it amongst themselves. I felt like we had magically gone back in time and were 12 again preparing for our first kiss with our crush. The coup de grace is every time someone pulls out gum at the end of a date. It has become an unofficial sign to us that they like us enough to go in for a kiss. Of course there are exceptions to this rule, some people just really like gum, but in general it has happened so often, we almost giggle (okay maybe just Naive Nancy giggles) when the gum comes out at the end of a date. Oh well, can’t complain too much, we’re notoriously bad at reading signals, so this is one signal we can read loud and clear. 🙂

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