Favorite Sex Positions

You really can’t have a blog about sex and sexuality without discussing favorite sex positions. And I’m not talking about one of those cheesy women’s magazines that mentions the five basic positions. No no no, you should know me better than that. Go big or go home. Right?

So I have brought to you what I consider to be the best website for exploring new positions. Sex Info 101 has a great animated guide. Yes animated. Because how can you really know what your favorite is if you don’t even know everything that is available to you! Β  Continue reading

Are all moms fuddy-duddies?

Seriously, what the fuck (pardon my language but I’m irritated) is up with mothers. Most of what I see hit print about mothers can be summed up from this recent article (I had to update the link, the original article has since been removed). This has been passed around from mom to mom, “amen-ed” more times than I can count, and overall viewed as gospel to my demographic.

You’re looking at a lot of the reason why I started a blog. I get that this is satire. But at the same time, how far from the truth is it? I’m sick of people putting this out as representative of mothers.

Can you not be a mother AND be sexy? Are you not allowed to be a mother AND physically fit?

I don’t look like a Victoria’s Secret model, however, I have kept myself in great condition and love to put myself in these bathing suits. Do I wear one of these on a playdate to the pool with kids? No, of course not (unless it’s under a cover-up). But when I can sit at the pool by myself, absolutely. There’s no reason why we can’t be proud of the bodies we have, the hard work we’ve put into them, and want to show them off.

I don’t starve myself, but I also don’t eat a whole sleeve of cookies and wonder why I can’t wear one of these swimsuits. I’ve always lived under the belief that taking care of yourself is the best example you can give to your kids. When mom is happy, everyone is happy. And part of keeping/making yourself happy is to take care of yourself physically.

Is this why most written word of women/mothers in their 30s is that we are asexual creatures? Because we have devalued ourselves as a society so much that we are only capable of being the mom in yoga pants struggling to keep up every day? Does frumpy have to be the primary descriptive word for us?

Do you use the back door?

tee-hee!

tee-hee!

Anal sex. It’s such a polarizing topic. You either love it or hate it. I’ve rarely ran across a woman who was just meh about it. I love how this article compares it to cilantro. Cracks me up. But it’s essentially saying the same thing, how polarizing it is.

Why don’t we talk about anal play, versus anal sex. I think if we were to broaden the subject to play, instead of just penile penetration, it might make some less wary of the topic, and maybe we can add more gray area to an otherwise black and white subject.

So you, or your partner, has entertained the idea of anal play. Where to start. I would recommend starting with you fingers, just touching the area. There are so many nerve endings around the anus that just brushing across it can be wildly stimulating. And to someone that is new to anal play, this can be enough excitement to start with. I remember when my husband and I first started with anal play, I had to get over the urge to giggle and flinch any time he would attempt to touch me there. I had been pre-programmed with the idea that it was an exit only area, so even the smallest brushes against it felt so taboo!

Grab some lube, because the next step in anal play is penetration with fingers. After you have gotten used to being touched on your puckered hole, maybe you’re ready to up the ante a bit. The anus is different than your vagina in that it takes a lot more conscious relaxation on your part to allow your muscles to let something penetrate you there. It will take practice releasing the tension in your anus to allow something in, even something as small as a single finger of your partner’s. Initial penetration by digits isn’t about depth, but just getting your body used to accepting something there. If your partner is a man, and is adventurous, try adding this trick to a blowjob.

Next, let’s say you really like digital manipulation in your ass and you’re ready for something more. Time for some toys. Find a beginner butt plug and add that in to your anal play. It can be used alone to get your ass used to something larger than a finger, or it can be used with vaginal intercourse as a pseudo double penetration beginner step.

How about trying a rim job? Some people love the feeling of a tongue around the ass. It’s all about you and your partner’s comfort levels. If you have a partner that loves to give oral, I would definitely recommend giving this a try as well.

And finally, if you’ve tried all the above and you want more. Then you can move on to penile penetration of the anus. What most people associate as being true anal sex.

See how many steps there was before you ever got to this point? I believe most people just jump to the final step, without working up to it and they miss all the fun to be had in between. So when asked about anal sex, they do feel strongly. It’s become an all or nothing topic for them.

I strongly recommend anal play as a way to increase intimacy with your partner. It takes a lot of communication and vulnerability to try something new like this. And regardless of which partner is taking the penetration, that involves trust.

Let’s change the way people think of anal sex. Why don’t we start talking about anal play instead.

What are your thoughts on anal play?

How to Spice Things Up – Mutual Masturbation

I think Naive Nancy gets asked one thing most consistently, what are some easy ways to spice up a sex life. So I think I’m going to do a series about it:Β  How to spice up your sexual relationship. I know, creative title, forgive the lack of imagination. For the first installment in that series, I’d like to discuss mutual masturbation.

Let’s start by defining mutual masturbation. Mutual masturbation is when both partners are masturbating at the same time. This is preferably done in the same room, but it can be accomplished via phone sex or video chat.

This is easiest to describe the appeal from a male’s perspective. I have found that most men are really turned on by the idea of women playing with themselves. It’s kind of a standard fantasy.

I know, from my own perspective, it’s really hot to watch my man pleasure himself. To see how he handles himself. It’s like watching live porn. That’s part of the draw of mutual masturbation, you’re both playing with yourselves, using each other as erotic viewing material. I think it creates an additional vulnerability to a normal sexual situation to be open and pleasuring yourself in front of your partner. And anything that makes you more vulnerable in front of your partner is an opportunity to grow closer and bond.

One benefit to mutual masturbation, for both parties, is the ability to see exactly what your partner likes. When you pleasure yourself, you know what you like best. So watch what your partner’s doing and employ some of those techniques the next time you get your hands on them.

Another benefit is that it can be done during a woman’s period. For guys that are squeamish around that time of the month, this is a great way to get in some sexy time without having to deal with the mess. But know your partner. Some are not in the mood that time of the month, and some really are hurt by the lack of intimacy. Everyone’s different.

So the next time you’re looking for something new to add to the bedroom, think about adding this to your repertoire.

What equipment are you working with?

penis cloud

This article makes me giggle like a little girl. It talks about the nine types of penises you might meet in your life. And of course it made me wonder, what kind of equipment are you all working with out there? And which of these nine types have you encountered?

Personally, the current equipment at my disposal is a combo of #1 and #5. He’s a grower and when he’s full grown, he’s practically perfect in every way. πŸ™‚ In fact, my husband considers this the primary reason that I never had a sex toy until later in life. I’ve had the perfect piece of equipment at my disposal for the last 13 years.

Men objectify women all the time, right or wrong, let’s return the favor. πŸ™‚