Ain’t got no satisfaction….

Who says you need a man, or partner, to provide satisfaction? I know what you’re thinking….Valentine’s Day is approaching and you’re single. What’s a girl to do when she wants some oral action. Luckily there’s a new toy for that!

heaven!

heaven!

The Lelo Ora is apparently a toy that provides the closest simulation of oral sex next to actually having a wet tongue down there. I haven’t personally experienced this heavenly toy, but check out this review.

Seriously, screw relationships, get this toy for yourself this Valentine’s Day!

The Anti-Valentine’s Day Post….

no love here

no love here

 

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, I guess it’s time to admit, I’m anti-Valentine’s Day. That’s right, we do not celebrate Valentine’s Day in my house, but probably not for any reason you’re thinking of. Very simply put, it’s because my husband’s birthday is on Valentine’s Day.

My husband and I met in college. In the early days of our relationship I believe we tried to celebrate both his birthday and the holiday on the same day. That is until we hit his 21st birthday. You can easily see how that can in no way be combined with a romantic holiday. After the disaster that was both his birthday and Valentine’s Day that year, we stopped celebrating Valentine’s Day and just kept it as his birthday.

Luckily for us, a couple more years went by and we got married. Only a month after Valentine’s Day. Therefore we now shelve any romantic celebrations and only bring them out for our anniversary. It just makes more sense.

Anyone else anti-Valentine’s Day? And if so, why?

Come hither is too suble, how about come fuck me

Subtlety is overrated. The only people who appreciate and understand subtlety are women. So unless you’re in a relationship with a woman, skip subtle. So let’s not talk about demure come hither looks, I would like to talk about come fuck me looks. As in, what is your go-to apparel when you want to make it apparent that you’re down to fuck.

Now, every person is different, therefore, what each person finds as overtly sexual may not be the same. So know your audience! And if you don’t know for sure, ask. Not, does this outfit make me look fat kinda ask, but I wore this to be sexy, is it working?

In my house when I’m trying to visually stimulate my man, I wear one of a couple pre-approved fuck-me outfits.

1) A gray tank top and bikini underwear – something about this says early pubescent fantasies. And my tits and ass look great in it. Take your pick.

2) White tshirt and jeans – down home country look maybe? He is a country boy at heart.

3) Knee high stiletto boots – yeah, these don’t have an and. They go with everything, or nothing.

4) Knee high socks and short skirts – something about the skin that is exposed leaves you wanting more.

See, there’s a reason why I didn’t suggest that you wear these items to stimulate your partner. Not every person is the same. You’d think it would be understood that general nudity would induce lust, but apparently that’s a myth. My man prefers any of the above to general nudity. So take the time to learn your partner’s preferences, and come back and share your come fuck me outfit. We could all use some inspiration.

Do you save a “special” act for special occasions?

In honor of the upcoming commercial debacle known as Valentine’s Day, I thought this might be a good time to bring this out. Do you save a “special” sexual act for special occasions? I should probably preface this by saying, this in reference to a woman doing something she wouldn’t normally do because she doesn’t like it. But she still pulls this act out on special occasions and performs it. Now, before reading further, I need you to understand that my perspective is slightly skewed because in my house the full menu is available at all times. This idea confuses me on several levels. Is there something you really don’t like so much that you would relegate it to once or twice year? And even then on those few times are you so unsure of the solidity of your relationship that you would force yourself to do something you hated in order to please your man? I get that when it comes to sex acts I’m kinda liberal. I’m open to trying just about anything these days because I get off on what gets my man off. Wait – maybe I’m the man in the relationship πŸ™‚ But if I truly hated something, my husband wouldn’t force me to do it. And, more importantly, I don’t think he’d get any pleasure from something he knew I hated so much. Now if the act was something you were more, meh about, instead of outright hate, then I would question the number of times you’re making it available. Meaning that the more you tried something the more you might like it. Relegating it to only being available once or twice a year means it’s not something you or your partner are well versed in together and that makes it even easier to have something go wrong, or not altogether right, and you’re left with the meh feelings. If you want to save something “special” sexually for a holiday, say Valentine’s Day, then try something new together. What better way to celebrate your love and affection then attempt to expand your boundaries together. This could be a new position, new toy, new outfit. Anything that’s new to you. The vulnerability brought on by exploration is what creates bonds.