You want to know why I refer to myself as Naive Nancy? Yeah, it all started with my first sex toy. Remember when I said my husband and I had that long awaited discussion regarding our fantasies. Well, if you don’t remember, start here. And for the rest of you, part of that discussion involved the mention that I wanted to try anal sex.
So being the type A person that I am, and having zero experience with toys or anal play, my husband and I approached this cerebrally (is that a word, if not I just made it up). We thought about it and decided that we’re going to need some lube and a toy that helps us work up to getting my husband’s dick in my ass. I did at least understand that it wasn’t going to happen immediately, to get a 7.5″ dick in my virgin ass.
Now this is where it starts to go awry. In the search for a toy, in my naivete, we thought maybe we should get something similar to my husband’s dick, so that if we could work up to getting that in my ass, then my husband’s dick would fit. I mean, he was excited at this endeavor, but he also had a fear of hurting me. This was a fail safe of sorts.
With all that in mind, we began the search for a dildo. We wanted something most similar to my husband’s cock and when we ran across this guy, we thought, 2-for-1 deal, has a vibrating feature so I could use it as a vibrator too, right?
my first sex toy….oy!
Hahaha, I laugh just thinking about this now. We eagerly awaited the arrival of our first toy. In the meantime our lube arrived and we began prepping for anal play with lube and fingers. I would tell you how that went, but I’ll save anal play for another time. Let’s focus on the hilarity of my naivete with sex toys. You can learn from me.
The day arrived, the toy showed up. We didn’t even know what to do with ourselves we were so excited. And I do mean we. Even with the debacle that becomes this toy, we have since found that my husband loves to use toys on me.
You’ll remember we originally got this toy thinking it was similar to my husband’s dick. So we decided to try it out vaginally first just to kinda test that theory. This dildo vibrates but is hooked to the remote via a cord. We found we didn’t like remote items with a cord. You can’t exactly move when you feel like you have a tampon string hanging out. Okay – good to know, from now on we’ll go wireless.
Then he’s thrusting this in me, I should be used to this kind of motion, but I’m not. It’s not comfortable, or arousing, frankly it hurts. Yeah, well this toy is straight where most dicks have a natural curve. So it wasn’t doing it for me really vaginally.
When we’d gotten far enough along in our anal play, we decided to bring this toy back out to test if I was ready for my husband’s dick. Out comes the monster dong again. While it is technically smaller than my husband’s dick in length, the girth is different enough that this was hurting me to try anally as well. Well, shit. Tried this toy two ways and not liked it.
Remembering that it vibrates, I once took the toy out to attempt to just use the vibrating feature on my clit. Since it is so very lifelike, the roundness of the head is such that it just slipped off my clit and wouldn’t really stay where I wanted it. Three strikes and you’re out! No not really, I’m stubborn and don’t give up easily.
Months later we finally found the right use for this toy. My husband likes to peruse porn when I’m not available to satisfy his needs. So he ran across this porn he was so thrilled with, he shared it with me. It’s of this woman using the suction cup feature at the base of the dildo to attach it to a mirror and then fuck herself with it. The next time I went out of town on a trip with the girls, I took the toy with me and proceeded to make my husband’s porn come true via video chat. Score! Except that’s the only use I now have for this toy.